Adapting Communication Styles for Teams

I was shadowing a coaching client in her leadership meeting when I watched this brilliant woman apologize six times in 30 minutes. 1. “Sorry, this might be off-topic, but..." 2. “I'm could be wrong, but what if we..." 3. “Sorry again, I know we're running short on time..." 4. “I don't want to step on anyone's toes, but..." 5. “This is just my opinion, but..." 6. “Sorry if I'm being too pushy..." Her ideas? They were game-changing. Every single one. Here's what I've learned after decades of coaching women leaders: Women are masterful at reading the room and keeping everyone comfortable. It's a superpower. But when we consistently prioritize others' comfort over our own voice, we rob ourselves, and our teams, of our full contribution. The alternative isn't to become aggressive or dismissive. It's to practice “gracious assertion": • Replace "Sorry to interrupt" with "I'd like to add to that" • Replace "This might be stupid, but..." with "Here's another perspective" • Replace "I hope this makes sense" with "Let me know what questions you have" • Replace "I don't want to step on toes" with "I have a different approach" • Replace "This is just my opinion" with "Based on my experience" • Replace "Sorry if I'm being pushy" with "I feel strongly about this because" But how do you know if you're hitting the right note? Ask yourself these three questions: • Am I stating my needs clearly while respecting others' perspectives? (Assertive) • Am I dismissing others' input or bulldozing through objections? (Aggressive) • Am I hinting at what I want instead of directly asking for it? (Passive-aggressive) You can be considerate AND confident. You can make space for others AND take up space yourself. Your comfort matters too. Your voice matters too. Your ideas matter too. And most importantly, YOU matter. @she.shines.inc #Womenleaders #Confidence #selfadvocacy

When I started as a SOC Analyst, I thought the job was all about me, my SIEM, and my alerts. But I quickly realized: Even the best detection is useless if no one understands what I’m saying. If the IT team doesn’t get my request, they won’t isolate the machine. If leadership doesn’t understand the risk, they won’t support action. If developers don’t see the threat, they’ll push vulnerable code again. Here’s how I started building better communication skills — and how it changed everything: 1. Translate Technical to Practical Instead of: “We detected TTPs consistent with MITRE ATT&CK T1059 via base64-encoded PowerShell.” I now say: “We found someone trying to run malicious PowerShell on a user machine. It could lead to ransomware. We blocked it.” Simple. Clear. No jargon. 2. Listen Before You Send I used to send long, technical emails — assuming the other team would read and respond. Now, I ask: “What does the IT team care about?” (Steps to fix) “What does management care about?” (Business risk, cost) Tailoring your message is respect. 3. Speak Their Language For IT: Use system names, impact, urgency For Leadership: Talk risk, reputation, compliance For DevOps: Focus on secure coding and CI/CD integration 4. Document Your Ask Clearly I learned to write tickets or emails like this: What happened What I need from them Deadline or urgency Contact if they have questions This clarity saves time — and builds trust. Final Thought: You don’t just need to detect threats — you need to communicate them. The more clearly you speak, the faster your organization can act. Cybersecurity is a team sport. Communication is your bridge. How do you make sure your messages land across teams? #CyberSecurity #SOCAnalyst #SoftSkills #CrossTeamCommunication #BlueTeam #InfoSec #IncidentResponse #Leadership #DevSecOps #SOCLife #SecurityAwareness #CyberCareers #SpeakToLead

The flight from Singapore to Kuala Lumpur is only 55 minutes. But in B2B sales, they might as well be on different planets. If you pitch "Efficiency" in Singapore, you win. If you pitch that same "Efficiency" in KL, you lose. Most expansion teams look at the map targeting (MY/ID/PH/SG) and see one region ("SEA"). I see four distinct psychological zones. You cannot copy-paste your content or your sales script across these borders. Here is the "Value Decoder" for the markets that matter right now: 🇲🇾 Kuala Lumpur (Malaysia) = PRAGMATISM - The Buyer's Mindset: "Is this proven?" - The Reality: They are price-sensitive but status-conscious. They want "Singaporean Quality" at a "Malaysian Price." - The Adjustment: Stop selling "Future Roadmaps." Sell proven case studies. And never bypass the hierarchy, if you don't have buy-in from the titled leadership (Dato/Datuk/Tan Sri) at the top, the deal is dead, even if the engineering team loves you. 🇮🇩 Jakarta (Indonesia) = SAFETY - The Buyer's Mindset: "Will I lose my job for buying this?" - The Reality: Deeply risk-averse. - The Adjustment: Your "Disruption" pitch sounds like "Danger" here. Pivot to Compliance. Cite OJK regulations, data sovereignty (UU PDP), and your local support team. They buy peace of mind, not specs. 🇸🇬 Singapore = EFFICIENCY - The Buyer's Mindset: "What is the ROI?" - The Reality: High-trust, high-cost, Westernized. - The Adjustment: Skip the relationship-building fluff. Go straight to the data. Show the ISO certifications, the API documentation, and the global case studies. 🇵🇭 Manila (Philippines) = RAPPORT The Buyer's Mindset: "Do I trust you on a personal level?" The Reality: Relational and Western-aligned. The Adjustment: Trust precedes the contract. If you treat them like a transaction, they will ghost you. You need to invest time in the personal connection ("Malasakit") before you push for the close. This is why your "Global" LinkedIn page isn't converting and probably WASTE of time if you are serious about APAC. Must have Local channels for every country you are SERIOUS about, and tailor the messaging accordingly. Marketing must sync with Sales, otherwise you are burning your budget on silly activities that is irrelevant to all countries in APAC (as they are not the same) -- P.S. We (Xpandeast) identify and engage qualified companies and right-fit personas to build your pipeline and get them to discovery calls in SE Asia. Crucially, we also deploy the trust-building content so that when they check you, your brand actually matches their local expectations. To learn more link in bio.

Can you see the sign just behind me? It says: "YOUR FAMILY IS EXPECTING YOU HOME TONIGHT" I saw it on the gate to a building site, on my way out of London City Airport. It utterly stopped me in my tracks. The sign was from a construction company, 8build and though it was clearly aimed at site workers, it stood out as a brilliant piece of communication that contains a wider lesson. Health & Safety messaging is often serious, procedural, and repetitive. Wear goggles. Watch for moving machinery. Fill out the form. Important? Absolutely. Memorable? Not always. And that's a problem. Because on building sites there is a phenomenon called Alarm Fatigue. It essentially means that if you work on a building site you can quickly become so desensitised to the beep beep beep of a large earth-moving diggers reversing that you tune it out. Which if you're standing behind one can have nasty consequences. The same phenomenon occurs in hospitals where monitoring machines sound alarms so frequently that nursing staff start to ignore them - which can be similarly harmful to human health. But the "family" message reframes the issue entirely. It isn't about the rules. It is about the personally-relevant reason to follow them. In a world where we're bombarded with signs, warnings, checklists and compliance notices, it's a powerful example of how to have people re-engage with boring but important signals. Imagine how other organisations could transform their tired messaging using this approach: Instead of "Please wash your hands" in hospitals, signs that read "Your next patient is counting on these hands being clean" Rather than "Back up your data" IT reminders, companies could use "Your best work deserves to survive a coffee spill" Instead of "Confidentiality agreement required" in client meetings, say "The trust our clients place in us begins with this signature" Rather than "Remember to schedule your annual review" in HR communications, remind your teams that "Your next promotion depends on a conversation we haven't had yet" An imaginative reframe can shift focus from dull procedures to clear purpose, and from reluctant compliance to consequences that matter personally. The sign at City Airport was a lesson about how reframing language inventively can have more impact on behaviour than almost anything else. What stale language in your organisation is no longer being heard? Are there critical messages for your teams, customers or suppliers you could refresh and reframe today? (And, hey, don't forget to stay safe: our families are expecting us ALL home tonight.)

"We watched a company video at our last leadership retreat and it's the first time I've seen my Korean and Japanese colleagues speak in their own languages with English subtitles." My client was excited as she told me this. I knew exactly what was coming next... "It was like they were completely different people!!" Suddenly her shy colleagues, who typically don't contribute much in meetings, were confident, knowledgeable, powerful even! I often tell Danish friends that if they haven't met me in English, they don't really know me. When I speak Danish: ❌ I don't raise my hand so quickly to speak and hardly contribute ✅ In English, you're 𝗹𝘂𝗰𝗸𝘆 if I raise my hand before jumping in ❌ I never volunteer to present ✅ Ummm... yeah, that's my whole career in English ❌ I second-guess my word choices and pronunciation, never fully confident, even though I'm basically fluent. ✅ I speak with nuance and eloquence, knowing how to fully adjust my language to context and culture without a second thought. I'm treated very differently in Danish, due in part to how I look and sound when I communicate... but, also due to people 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘀𝗲𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗯𝗲𝘆𝗼𝗻𝗱 the way I look and sound to hear 𝗺𝘆 𝗺𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗴𝗲. On the flip side, I'm often given 𝘂𝗻𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘁𝘂𝘀 and 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗴𝗲 in English because I'm such an engaged and confident communicator. Linguistic inclusion goes beyond recognizing these biases. There are simple changes you can make within the organization (especially with the technology we have today) that can help you start meeting your colleagues in their own languages. Honoring your colleagues' identities by allowing them to speak their native languages in a company video (internal or external) is just a start. Does your company integrate translation/interpretation/captioning solutions (human or tech) to encourage freedom of linguistic expression? Is it time to consider doing so? #inclusion #linguistics #communication #unmuted

🧠 We’ve all been mansplained (unsolicited explanations of things we already know) and he-peated (our idea ignored until a man says it). This happens to interns and SVPs, in finance and philanthropy, in boardrooms and basements. Bias is real. And women help it along. Years of social conditioning taught us to bubble-wrap our point in apologies: "I just want to say... " "Sorry I mean...." "I am not sure, but I think..." "Does that make sense? No one is forcing those words into our mouths anymore. We put them there. If I’m the one pressing my own mute button, I’m also the one who can take my finger off it. Uma and I are often on coaching calls, listening to brilliant women explain a challenge in six scenic paragraphs while we bite our lips thinking, 😅 “How do we say: come to the fucking point.... kindly?” 🪞 I’m not saying “talk like a man.” I’m saying talk like a decision-maker. In the workplace, time is money, perception is reality, and clarity is kindness. You can be warm and still be sharp. You can be collaborative without narrating your inner monologue. Here are 4 verbal moves: ❌ Don’t: “ So quick background… long story short… the market, the vendor, last quarter…” ✅ Do: “Decision: approve X by Friday to hit launch. Two reasons: 1) … 2) …” 👉 Write your headline using Verb + Decision + Deadline (“Approve X by Friday”). Then give two bullets max: “Because 1)… 2)…”. Practice with a 6-second voice note; if you spill over, your headline isn’t a headline. ❌ Don’t: “I’m worried we might be a bit behind and it could become an issue.” ✅ Do: “We’re 3 weeks behind; risk €120k. Option A recovers 2 weeks; Option B recovers 3 with a 10% scope cut.” 👉 Translate feelings to facts with this template: “Status: X; Risk: Y; Options: A/B with trade-offs; My recommendation: R.” Ask “What number proves this?” until you have one. ❌ Don’t: “Sorry, can I just add, (gets interrupted)… yeah, no worries.” ✅ Do: “I’ll finish, then happy to take questions. Building on what I proposed earlier, next step is…” 👉 Memorize one boundary line and say it verbatim. Sit slightly forward, palm down, finish your sentence. If credit drifts, tag it back: “As outlined earlier, I’ll proceed with…” Then move to action. ❌ Don’t: “Maybe someone could own this? Otherwise I’m happy to help if needed.” ✅ Do: “I own A. Priya owns B. We need your yes/no today. If yes, I’ll send the plan by 17:00.” 👉 How to: End every contribution with Who/What/When. Ask for a binary (“yes/no”) to force a decision. Follow up in writing within an hour: subject “Decision + Owners + Deadline,” one paragraph, three bullets. 🧩 Different styles can all be powerful; None of them requires apologizing for existing. You’re not too much. You’ve been practicing small. If you want the reps, grab the replay of our 90-min webinar “Confident Communication.”, 👉 https://lnkd.in/ginRMa4q Because the shortest true sentence wins...

Excellent tips here illustrating how a subtle change in tone can have a massive influence upon how your message is received. 1) Acknowledge Delays with Gratitude "Sorry for the late reply…" "Thank you for your patience." 2) Respond Thoughtfully, Not Reactively "This is wrong." "I see your point. Have you considered [trying alternative]?" "Thank you for sharing this—I appreciate your insights." 3) Use Subject Lines That Get to the Point "Update" "Project X: Status Update & Next Steps" 4) Set the Tone with Your First Line "Hey, quick question…" "Hi [Name], I appreciate you. I wanted to ask about…" 5) Show Appreciation, Not Acknowledgment "Noted." "Thank you for sharing this—I appreciate your insights." 6) Frame Feedback Positively "This isn’t good enough." "This is a great start. Let’s refine [specific area] further." 7) Lead with Confidence "Maybe you could take a look…" "We need [specific task] completed by [specific date]." 8) Clarify Priorities Instead of Overloading "We need to do this ASAP!" "Let’s prioritize [specific task] first to meet our deadline." 9) Make Requests Easy to Process "Can you take a look at this?" "Can you review this and share your feedback by [date]?" 10) Be Clear About Next Steps "Let’s figure it out later." "Next steps: I’ll handle X, and you confirm Y by [deadline]." 11) Follow Up with Purpose, Not Pressure "Just checking in again!" "I wanted to follow up on this. Do you need any additional details from me?" 12) Avoid Passive-Aggressive Language "As I mentioned before…" "Just bringing this back in case it got missed."

"We're moving forward with another vendor." Every rep's nightmare sentence. I pressed for details. "Their approach felt more open. We actually knew what we were buying into." That stung. I'd shared: ••• Exhaustive feature documentation ••• Dozens of success stories   ••• Complete pricing breakdowns Where'd I go wrong? Days later, I got access to our competitor's sales process. The difference hit instantly: They didn't preach transparency. They lived it. Their follow-up wasn't an email avalanche. It was one collaborative hub where buyers could: ••• Monitor which stakeholders engaged with what ••• See their exact position in the evaluation journey ••• Find materials curated for their unique pain points ••• Manage internal distribution seamlessly My revelation: I was buried in PDFs. They were cultivating partnership. Next prospect, new approach: I built a shared workspace exposing EVERYTHING: → Which team members on our side viewed their data → Critical docs they'd missed → Realistic implementation expectations → Where we excel AND where we don't The buyer's response: "Finally, someone not playing games." Ink on paper in 10 days. Here's what's real: Today's buyers aren't starved for data. They're starved for authenticity. Yesterday's strategy: Bombard with polished assets that sidestep weaknesses. Tomorrow's strategy: Build transparent environments that tackle doubts directly. Your buyers know when something's off. Even when nothing is. Quit running sales like a shell game. Start running it like a glass house. You with me?

A few years ago, I was in a high stakes meeting with colleagues from Japan. I presented my points confidently, thinking I was making a great impression. But as I scanned the room, I saw blank expressions. No nods. No engagement. Just silence. I panicked. Had I said something wrong? Was my idea unconvincing? After the meeting, one of my Japanese colleagues pulled me aside and said, “Sumit, we really want to understand you, but you speak too fast.” That was my light bulb moment. For years, I assumed that mastering English and business communication was enough to build strong global relationships. But the real challenge wasn’t just the language - it was the rate of speech! Most of us don’t realize that speaking speed varies drastically across cultures. Here’s an eye-opener: ·      In India, we typically speak at 120–150 words per minute. ·      The global standard for clear communication is around 60–80 words per minute. ·      In Japan, where English is not the first language, this rate drops even further. So, what happens when we, as fast speakers, communicate with someone who is used to a much slower pace? Our words blur together. The listener struggles to process. And instead of making an impact, we create confusion. We often assume that if people don’t understand us, we need to repeat ourselves. But the truth is, we don’t need to repeat - we need to slow down, simplify, and pause. If you work in a multicultural environment, here are three things that can dramatically improve your communication: a.   Control your pace: Consciously slow down when speaking to an international audience. What feels “normal” to you might be too fast for them. b.   Use simple language: Smaller sentences. Easier words (vocabulary). c.    Pause & check for understanding: Don’t assume silence means agreement. Ask, “Does that make sense?” or “Would you like me to clarify anything?” I’ve seen professionals struggle in global roles - not because they lack expertise, but because they fail to adjust their communication style to their audience. I’ve also seen leaders who thrive across cultures, simply because they master the art of respectful, clear, and paced communication. If you want to succeed in a global workplace, rate of speech is not just a skill - it’s a strategy. Have you ever faced challenges due to differences in speaking speed? Let’s discuss. #GlobalCommunication #CrossCulturalLeadership #EffectiveCommunication #SoftSkills #CareerGrowth #WorkplaceSuccess #HR