Soft Skills & Emotional Intelligence

I Can Spot a Great Candidate in 30 Seconds - Without Looking at Their Resume. At Vicco Laboratories, the first few interview rounds are handled by our HR and leadership team. They assess skills, experience, performance history - all the standard checkboxes. But when someone reaches my room, I’m not evaluating capability. I’m evaluating character. Because skills can be trained. Character can’t. So in the final round, I deliberately observe three things before we even get into formal questions: 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭 1: 𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐓𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐨𝐨𝐦 Before they enter, I always ask our receptionist to make them wait for a few minutes. Not to trouble them — but to observe: Do they greet her or ignore her? Do they show gratitude or entitlement? Do they smile or stay blank? Do they thank her when being called in? If someone is only respectful upwards, they’re not fit for leadership. 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭 2: 𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐇𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐞 𝐒𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 During the conversation, I pause intentionally. A great candidate: Doesn’t panic when things go quiet Holds eye contact without overcompensating Thinks before responding, instead of rushing to impress Silence is a pressure test.  Silence exposes a person’s comfort with themselves. And self-assured people make better decisions under pressure. 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭 3: 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐀𝐬𝐤 “𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐈 𝐆𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐕𝐢𝐜𝐜𝐨”, 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 “𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐈 𝐆𝐞𝐭?” I watch closely when compensation and responsibilities are discussed. If the questions are only about salary, perks and timings, they’re employees. If they ask about learning culture, values, decision-making structure…they are already thinking as an owner. I’ll always choose alignment over achievement. So if you’re ever preparing for your final round anywhere — don’t just prepare your resume. Prepare your presence. Because long after your words fade, your character stays in the room. Sanjeev Pendharkar  Just sharing what I’ve learnt #values #business #hiring #hr #decisionmaking #cv #leadership #skills

I was shadowing a coaching client in her leadership meeting when I watched this brilliant woman apologize six times in 30 minutes. 1. “Sorry, this might be off-topic, but..." 2. “I'm could be wrong, but what if we..." 3. “Sorry again, I know we're running short on time..." 4. “I don't want to step on anyone's toes, but..." 5. “This is just my opinion, but..." 6. “Sorry if I'm being too pushy..." Her ideas? They were game-changing. Every single one. Here's what I've learned after decades of coaching women leaders: Women are masterful at reading the room and keeping everyone comfortable. It's a superpower. But when we consistently prioritize others' comfort over our own voice, we rob ourselves, and our teams, of our full contribution. The alternative isn't to become aggressive or dismissive. It's to practice “gracious assertion": • Replace "Sorry to interrupt" with "I'd like to add to that" • Replace "This might be stupid, but..." with "Here's another perspective" • Replace "I hope this makes sense" with "Let me know what questions you have" • Replace "I don't want to step on toes" with "I have a different approach" • Replace "This is just my opinion" with "Based on my experience" • Replace "Sorry if I'm being pushy" with "I feel strongly about this because" But how do you know if you're hitting the right note? Ask yourself these three questions: • Am I stating my needs clearly while respecting others' perspectives? (Assertive) • Am I dismissing others' input or bulldozing through objections? (Aggressive) • Am I hinting at what I want instead of directly asking for it? (Passive-aggressive) You can be considerate AND confident. You can make space for others AND take up space yourself. Your comfort matters too. Your voice matters too. Your ideas matter too. And most importantly, YOU matter. @she.shines.inc #Womenleaders #Confidence #selfadvocacy

Want to stay motivated every single day? Borrow a strategy from Harvard. Then borrow another from stand up comedy. Together, they’re a powerhouse for momentum, motivation, and mastery. Here’s how it works: Let’s start with Harvard. Researcher Teresa Amabile studied 12,000 daily work diaries across 8 companies. She wanted to know: What truly motivates people on a day to day basis? What she found changed how we understand drive. The #1 driver of daily motivation wasn’t: Money Praise Perks It was progress. The days people made progress on meaningful work were the days they felt the best. Progress isn’t a luxury. It’s a psychological necessity. So how do we make progress feel visible especially on days when it’s not? Use a “Progress Ritual.” → At the end of the day, pause. → Write down 3 small ways you moved forward. → That’s it. No fanfare. Just ritual. This works because we rarely notice our progress in real time. It gets buried under busyness, meetings, and mental noise. The act of looking back gives your brain the reward it needs to keep going. Momentum builds from meaning. Now let’s add some comedy. Young Jerry Seinfeld had one goal: write new material every day. To stay on track, he created a brilliant system. Each day he wrote, he put a big red X on his calendar. Soon, a chain of Xs formed. And here’s the key: Don’t break the chain. One red X becomes two. Two becomes ten. Ten becomes identity. Whether you’re writing, coding, or training Daily action + visual chain = long-term motivation. Summary: The Two-Part Motivation System From Harvard: Record 3 ways you made progress each day. From Seinfeld: Mark an X for each day you show up then don’t break the chain. Progress fuels purpose. Consistency fuels confidence. Apply both and you’ll stay on track especially on the tough days. Because when your days get better, your weeks get better. When your weeks get better, your months get better. When your months get better, your life gets better. It starts with one small win today.

🥊 “Jingjin, have you ever considered that women are just inferior to men?” That was her opening line. The lady who challenged me was not a traditionalist in pearls. She was one of the top investment bankers of her time, closed billion-dollar deals, led global teams, the kind of woman whose voice dropped ten degrees when money was on the line. And she meant it. “Back in my day, if I had to hire, I’d always go for the man. No pregnancy leave. No PMS. No emotional volatility. Just less… liability.” And she doesn’t believe in what I do. Helping women lead from a place of wholeness. Because to her, wholeness is a luxury. Winning requires neutrality. And neutrality means: be less female and suck it up! I’ve heard versions of this many times, and too often, from high-performing women who "made it" by suppressing. But facts are: 🧠 There are no consistent brain differences between men and women that explain men’s “logic” or women’s “emotions.” 💥 Hormones impact everyone. Men’s testosterone drops when they nurture. Women’s cortisol rises in toxic workplaces, not because they’re weak, but because they’re sane. 📉 What we call “meritocracy” is often a reward system for those who can perform like they have no body, no children, no cycles. None of those are biologically male traits. They’re artifacts of a system built around male lives. So, if you're a woman who's bought into this logic, here are some counter-strategies: 🛠 1. Study Systems Like You Studied Deals Dissect the incentives, norms, and bias loops of your workplace the same way you’d break down a P&L. Don’t internalize what’s structural. 🧭 2. Redefine Strategic Strengths Stop mirroring alpha aggression to prove you belong. Deep listening, self-regulation, and nuance reading, these are leadership assets, not soft skills. Use them ruthlessly. 💬 3. Name It, Don’t Numb It If your hormones impact you one day a month, say so, but also say what it doesn’t mean: It doesn’t cancel out 29 days of clarity, strategy, and execution. 🪩 4. Build Your Own Meritocracy Start investing in spaces, networks, and cultures where your wholeness isn’t penalized. If none exist, build them. 🧱 5. Deconstruct Before You Self-Doubt When you catch yourself thinking “maybe I’m not built for this,” pause. Ask: Whose rules am I trying to win by? Who benefits when I question myself? This post isn’t about defending women. We don’t need defending. It’s about calling out the internalised metrics we still use to measure ourselves. 👊 And choosing to rewrite them. What’s the most 'rational' reason you’ve heard for why women are a liability?

When Mary Barra took over GM's HR department, she found a 10-page dress code policy. She replaced all 10 pages with just two words: "Dress appropriately." The HR team panicked. A senior director sent an angry email demanding more detailed rules. But Barra held firm. When the director called to complain that his team wore jeans to government meetings, she didn't cave. Instead, she told him: "Have a conversation with your team." Two weeks later, he called back excited. His team had solved it themselves...they'd keep dress pants in their lockers for important meetings. Here's what happened across GM: 1. Managers started making decisions instead of following rulebooks 2. Employee engagement improved as people felt trusted 3. Bureaucracy dropped as leaders focused on outcomes, not compliance Barra realized: "If they can't handle 'dress appropriately,' what other judgment decisions are they not making?" She built a culture where thinking mattered more than rule-following. Most companies write longer policies to avoid problems. Mary wrote shorter ones to create leaders.

I worked 20-hour shifts during my residency. Forget time for family and friends, I often didn’t even have time to shower or eat. So when most of my patients talk about stress taking a toll on their health, I understand. But what we often ignore is that stress acts as your body's alert system for perceived threats. It leads you straight into survival mode - causing lack of sleep, anxiety, and countless health problems. So here are 4 simple solutions to reclaim control: ▶︎ 1. The physiological sigh: This is one of the fastest ways to calm down. - 1 deep inhale through the nose - 1 short inhale to top up - 1 long exhale to empty lungs Just 2-3 cycles of this technique will release the maximum amount of CO2, slow your heart rate and relax you. ▶︎ 2. Mel Robin’s 5-second rule: To break the cycle of anxiety and change your stress habits, simply count down from 5. 5-4-3-2-1. This exercise will: - Activate your prefrontal cortex - Interrupt your habitual thought loops - Shift your brain from fight-or-flight to action mode ▶︎ 3. The filters test: If you want to reduce stress, you need to curate your thoughts. Whenever you have a negative thought, answer these 3 questions: - Is it true? - Is it kind? - Is it helpful? If any of the answer is no, discard the chain of thought immediately. ▶︎ 4. Conquer your fear of judgment: Caring what people think is costing you your health. Choosing attachment (fitting in) over authenticity (being yourself) sets you up for long-term health issues. So forget about others' opinions. Remember, being healthy > seeking approval. These techniques actually work as our brains tend to: - Ignore the high costs of our inaction - Understate the positive results of taking action - Exaggerate negative consequences of taking action. How do you manage your stress? #healthandwellness #workplacehealth #stress

In the U.S., you can grab coffee with a CEO in two weeks. In Europe, it might take two years to get that meeting. I ’ve spent years building relationships across both U.S. and European markets, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: networking looks completely different depending on where you are. The way people connect, build trust, and create opportunities is shaped by culture-and if you don’t adapt your approach, you’ll hit walls fast. So, if you're an executive expanding globally, a leader hiring across regions, or a professional trying to break into a new market-this post is for you. The U.S.: Fast, Open, and High-Volume Americans love to network. Connections are made quickly, introductions flow freely, and saying "let's grab coffee" isn’t just polite—it’s expected. - Cold outreach is normal—you can message a top executive on LinkedIn, and they just might say yes. - Speed matters. Business moves fast, so meetings, interviews, and hiring decisions happen quickly. But here’s the catch: Just because you had a great chat doesn’t mean you’ve built a deep relationship. Trust takes follow-ups, consistency, and results. I’ve seen European executives struggle with this—mistaking initial enthusiasm for long-term commitment. In the U.S., networking is about momentum—you have to keep showing up, adding value, and staying top of mind. In Europe, networking is a long game. If you don’t have an introduction, it’s much harder to get in the door. - Warm introductions matter. Cold outreach? Much tougher. Senior leaders prefer to meet through trusted referrals—someone who can vouch for you. - Fewer, deeper relationships. Once trust is built, it’s strong and lasting—but it takes time to get there. - Decisions take longer. Whether it’s hiring, partnerships, or leadership moves, things don’t happen overnight—expect a longer courtship period. I’ve seen U.S. executives enter the European market and get frustrated fast—wondering why it’s taking months (or years!) to break into leadership circles. But that’s how the market works. The key to winning in Europe? Patience, credibility, and long-term thinking. So, What Does This Mean for Global Leaders? If you’re an American executive expanding into Europe… 📌 Be patient. One meeting won’t seal the deal—you have to earn trust over time. 📌 Get introductions. A warm referral is worth more than 100 cold emails. 📌 Don’t push too hard. European business culture favors depth over speed—respect the process. If you’re a European leader entering the U.S. market… 📌 Don’t wait for permission—reach out. People expect direct outreach and initiative. 📌 Follow up fast. If you’re slow to respond, the opportunity moves on without you. 📌 Be ready to show value quickly. Americans won’t wait months to see if you’re a fit. Networking isn’t just about who you know—it’s about how you build relationships. #Networking #Leadership #ExecutiveSearch #CareerGrowth #GlobalBusiness #US #Europe

"Feedback is a gift. It's an opportunity to learn and grow" At Google, we believe in the power of feedback to drive improvement. Sometimes feedback can be tough to hear. But taking the time to unpack it, understand the perspective, and reflect on it is crucial. Why feedback matters: - It reveals blind spots we cannot see ourselves - It accelerates learning by shortcutting trial and error - It demonstrates that others are invested in your success - It creates alignment between perception and reality How to receive feedback effectively: 1. Approach with curiosity, not defensiveness When receiving feedback, your first reaction might be to justify or explain. Instead, listen deeply and ask clarifying questions: "Can you give me a specific example?" or "What would success look like to you?" 2. Separate intention from impact Remember that well-intentioned actions can still have unintended consequences. Focus on understanding the impact rather than defending your intentions. 3. Look for patterns across multiple sources Individual feedback may reflect personal preferences, but patterns across multiple sources often reveal genuine opportunities for growth. 4. Prioritize actionable insights Not all feedback requires action. Evaluate which points will have the greatest impact on your effectiveness and focus your energy there. 5. Follow up and close the loop Demonstrate your commitment by acknowledging the feedback, sharing your action plan, and following up on your progress. Creating a feedback-rich environment: - Model vulnerability by asking for feedback yourself - Recognize and celebrate when people implement feedback successfully - Make it routine through structured check-ins rather than waiting for formal reviews At Google, we've learned that organizations with robust feedback cultures innovate faster, adapt more quickly to market changes, and build more inclusive workplaces. Let's commit to seeing feedback not as criticism but as a valuable investment in our collective future. The discomfort is temporary, but the growth is lasting. #motivation #productivity #mindset

Just by being Black, the level of latitude you're given for behaviour – especially behaviour deemed "bad" – is often completely different. The consequences are harsher and the scrutiny is sharper. Take disciplinary matters, for example. Black employees are often judged more harshly for the same behaviours as their white counterparts. A Black professional might be labelled “difficult”, “angry”, “intimidating”, or “unprofessional” for expressing frustration in a meeting, while a white colleague might be excused as “passionate” or “assertive”. You know the type of comments – “Elizabeth is just expressing how she feels,” or “Johnny was just a bit hot under the collar.” The disparity isn’t just anecdotal – it’s backed up by research into workplace racial bias. Then there’s career progression. Black employees are frequently held to higher standards to earn the same recognition. Feedback like, “You need to prove yourself more” or “be more of a team player” is often levelled at those who have already delivered exceptional results. Meanwhile, others are promoted based on potential or likeability rather than consistent performance. Not sure if this is (or has) happened in your workplace? 1) Look at patterns in employee relations cases – Are Black employees disproportionately disciplined or receiving harsher feedback compared to their peers in similar roles? 2) Examine promotion criteria – Are Black employees expected to overperform just to be considered for opportunities, while others get ahead based on vague ideas of potential or even subpar performance? How do performance and potential ratings for Black employees compare with others? 3) Observe how behaviours are labelled – Is there a difference in the language used to describe similar actions? Are words like “angry” or “unapproachable” disproportionately applied to Black colleagues? For Black women, how are their traits described compared to non-Black women? For Black men, what “advice” is given under the guise of mentorship to ensure they aren’t perceived as “intimidating” or “scary” – particularly when they express frustration or anger? To address this, the first step is noticing the patterns (or not dismissing or acting defensively when it’s pointed out), the second is to question and avoid making assumptions that it is an “unfounded accusation” and the third? Well, that’s up to you. You can either take action or ignore it. I say that only because too many organisations are still struggling to get past the first step 🤷🏾♀️ 📹 Sterling K. Brown

Hire people BETTER THAN YOU and DIFFERENT TO YOU… Then LEARN FROM THEM. 🙏🏾 Sounds straightforward, doesn't it? Yet, why do so many leaders still struggle to grasp it? It’s because there's often hidden complexity beneath the surface. For example: 👀 Insecurity: Some leaders want to maintain the perception of being the smartest or most capable in the room. Therefore, surrounding themselves with highly skilled individuals could make them feel inadequate or threatened. 🔐 Need for Control: Hiring “less competent” team members could ensure that the leader remains the central figure, exerting control over important matters. 😱 Fear of Challenge: A diverse team can bring different viewpoints that might challenge the leader's ideas and decisions. 🧘🏾♂️ Comfort Zone: Some leaders prefer familiarity and ease, preventing them from being pushed out of their boundaries. ❤️ Misguided Loyalty: Leaders might adopt favouritism and hire people based on personal relationships or loyalties. 🤔 Short-Term Thinking: Hiring less skilled individuals could be a short-sighted approach to save costs or meet immediate needs, ignoring the long-term benefits of a talented and diverse team. 🤷🏾♂️ Lack of Awareness: Some leaders might just not fully recognise the value of diversity or the importance of surrounding themselves with skilled individuals. Leaders like the above ☝🏽are missing out on: 🧠 Amplified Intelligence: “Fuse Minds" Surrounding yourself with smarter people boosts team intelligence. Just like a puzzle, different pieces fit together to create a whole that's stronger than its parts. 🚀 Fast-Track Growth: “Learn from Experts" Learning from the best accelerates personal growth. Imagine being on a rocket powered by knowledge and experience – you'll reach your goals faster. 🤔 Constant Innovation: “Open Doors" Humility opens doors to innovation. Acknowledging that you don't know everything encourages openness to fresh ideas and creative solutions. 🏋️♂️ Informed Choices: “Embrace Thought Variety" Embracing diversity of thought leads to well-rounded decisions. Different perspectives catch what others might miss, reducing blind spots. 🤝 Unified Power: “Flourish in Collaboration” Collaboration flourishes when skills vary. Strength lies in unity, and a mix of talents creates a powerhouse of cooperation. 🌱 Trust Building: “Strengthen Culture" Inclusive leadership fosters loyalty and trust. Encouraging growth shows you value your team members, creating a supportive environment. 🚀 Ensured Continuity: “Smooth Transition" Passing the baton ensures continuity. When your team can carry the torch, you're free to explore new horizons without being tied down. In short, the aim of any great leader is to make your daily responsibilities redundant. This is best achieved by hiring people better than you, and those that share a different perspective. Empower them, learn from them and the rest will take care of itself 🦋