TBT: Megan commented on yesterday's post "But it's hard to understand why Taz could be so stressed. As you say, he demonstrates how happy he is in other behaviours".
It was a good question. In almost all ways, Taz is a happy cat.
Well, Lori was stressed from Laz attacking her after his inner demons returned, and then I introduced 2 new cats just a week later, so she didn't react well. And coming from a Shelter full of other cats in the Community Room (and constantly barking dogs in the adjacent room), they were probably stressed too.
Well, Lori was stressed from Laz (her former BFF) attacking her suddenly after his inner demons returned. She didn't know about his former problems of course, but she was taken aback by his sudden change toward her. She hid for a couple months.
Then Ayla stopped eating and shut down due to age. No medications helped. I had to have her euthanized rather than watch her just starve to death. So while Lori and Ayla weren't the best of friends, she was suddenly absent.
Then, after trying to rehome Laz (and failing), I had to have Laz euthanized. He wouldn't have been adopted from the Shelter, would have been caged for a couple of weeks, and would have been terrified by all the barking dogs. Sometimes freedom from terrors is all you can provide.
I spite of his fears, Laz sure loved ME and I HIM. But seeing him hiding in corners and trembling was just too much. I may not have explained how bad things got for him last November.
But from Lori's point of view, it was another "disappeared cat" in just 2 months. So she must have felt some stress.
And then I brought in The Shelter Pair just a week later. Lori was further stressed, and of course the 2 new ones were uncertain about the change in their lives. So they were stressed. It was a bad decision on my part. I changed the lives of 3 cats (5 if you count Ayla and Laz) too suddenly.
I meant well for all, but it was a recipe for disaster. I am generally an optimist ("things will work well"). But I was wrong. Marley and Lori were generally happy together. Not "cuddly" but got along fine. I should have left it at that for a while. Two cats are fine with me. I have had fewer and more sometimes.
Maybe Lori would have accepted 1 new cat. But I see now in hindsight that 2 were probably too many for her to deal with. Maybe Taz would have been OK, or maybe Binq, but maybe not both at the same time. I should have waited. I should have adopted 1 to see how she reacted and then maybe another months later.
Yeah, hindsight is always perfect. But I acted without enough thought. I should have asked my Vet what to expect. I should have asked you all about any similar concerns. I normally think things through carefully before acting, but I didn't this time.
I wanted Lori to have a loved replacement for Laz. So I sought an orange/white male I expected to be calm like Skeeter and Marley. Well I got Skeeter as a young kitten so he had to be friendly to the older cat (Tinkerbelle). And Marley was just relaxed from the start. I expected the same from Taz.
But Taz is neither Skeeter nor Marley. It has occurred to me that he was surrendered to the Shelter for a reason. People don't give happy easy-going cats to a Shelter. He has an urge to dominance. And Lori didn't accept that easily.
Looking back (again) perhaps I should have returned him to the Shelter for being adopted to a better home as soon as Lori started showing signs of stress diarrhea. But I didn't connect her problem with Taz. The timing seems obvious now but I thought Lori had developed a physical, not stress problem.
I should have caught on when the Vet couldn't find a physical problem and thought maybe it was biotic or a food allergy. And Taz wasn't peeing high like marking territory or peeing on my bed at the time.
I am hoping the Paroxetine calms both Lori and Taz long enough for them to learn to get along. I have considered returning Taz to the Shelter several times, but I just can't do it (yet). I don't give up easily. And Taz deserves more time.
If the future means grinding up pills for 2 cats and mixing it into their food for months (or longer) and standing over them while they eat it (however unhappily) I will probably do it.
But I'm getting older too. Problems are slowly getting harder to deal with. As it is, I have to cover the bed with a waterproof sheet and wash it every couple of days (due to Taz's peeing). I have to mop around the basement litterboxes every couple of days for the same reason.
Someday, I may have to wish Taz a hopeful farewell to a rehome or The Shelter. And that would be hard because sure loves me. But today is not that day, nor is next month. But there might come some day when I can't handle it anymore due to elder issues and/or worsening problems.
Meanwhile, it is one day at a time. And some positive pictures...
